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Heaving Bosoms: A Romance Novel Podcast

Nov 19, 2018

It’s the mostly tingly time of the year... That’s right everyone, we read CHUCK TINGLE! In this episode, we recap Seduced by Dr. Bigfoot, Attorney at Large and Space Raptor Butt Invasion. Can Mark handle his attraction to a mythical creature who’s a lawyer AND a doctor? Will Lance have to spend have to spend his entire time on the planet Zorbus alone, or will he be able to warm up the cold-blooded creature he meets there? Come with us on these journeys to self-discovery, new sexual horizons, and all the semen descriptions you might be able to handle. THEN, if you’re a patron, you get to hear us tell each other about two bonus stories! And, I always feel silly saying this because everything we do is explicit, but this one is EXPLICIT. The text demands and we deliver.

Bonus Content: THE WINNER OF THE BUBBLES AND BOOKS GIVEAWAY is Jennifer Sumner! Congrats, Jennifer!  Melody tells everyone about officiating her friend's wedding, dancing her face off, and staying up until 3am like a kid... and the aftermath. We also get into the murky story of national treasure Dr. Chuck Tingle, Banksy of Erotica, why something is exponentially funnier if you aggressively include their professions in the description, the merits and demerits of sex against the window of the 72nd floor, and good goddess we hope all the descriptions of things being gay aren’t meant to be funny in a bad way. It feels too pure to be bad! It brings too much joy! And *Bing Boong Bong* Mythical Creature Safe Sex with Melody and Logistics with Erin.

Lady Love Recs:

Melody: Try a new fun thing called “Breakfast in Bath.” It’s far superior to Breakfast in Bed because you won’t drop crumbs in your sheets, you get all the bathtime relaxation you want, you start the day exfoliated, and it’s generally amazing. Erin is HORRIFIED, but we have very different bathtime strategies and outlooks.

Erin: ERIN NEEDS TO GET SOMETHING OFF HER CHEST. Forever ago, she rec’d a Bare Minerals lipstick that’s made with cocoa powder and NOBODY DID A GODDAMNED THING. Now there’s apparently a “cult lipstick” that Melody rec’d WAY LATER and it’s been quietly “grinding [her] gears.” Wait no, her Lady Love is an episode of Busy Tonight with Busy Philipps. On the episode with Emily Ratajkowski where they do a bit about the weirdest things women have ever found in their bras that had her DYING with laughter.

Patreon Shout-Outs:

Brandon S., you are a rare unicorn-centaur hybrid. Your unicorn lineage gives you the nobility, purity of heart, and sweetness of temperament which makes others crave our presence and respect. And your centaur side gives you wisdom and positivity in pursuits of both the mind and of the flesh. Regardless of your methods, you have an innate ability to make anyone feel wonderful about themselves and life in general

This episode is sponsored by Bubbles and Books. The code BOSOM20 will get 20% off your first month! Get relaxing, everyone!


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